FREEDOM

I am free at last! Free at last!

A new start, new friends, new opportunities and adventures await..
No more spiritual or religious ramblings or dictatorship over how I should live my life, all that is behind me!
Cannot believe it has taken this long to come to my senses!
It's been a struggle, it still is, but I'm finally free, broke those shackles of abuse and finally moved on with my life...
No ‘spiritual’ institution or man will ever have such control over me ever again..

I am ashamed of how I treated myself, brainwashed to believe I was less important, but you will not understand unless you were in my position. I was weak and looking for spirituality, thinking I had found a true and honest Spiritual Society, I dedicated my life to the movement, but did not expect my vulnerability to be taken advantage of. I was brainwashed into thinking women are of lesser importance, that they were the downfall of men, that women had no equality, that women were less intelligent, should be submissive to men and so thinking this way I was under their mind control and abusive hands. 

But no more, I have reclaimed my independence, celebrate my identity as a beautiful and powerful woman, deserving of kindness, love and respect. I can achieve anything and just as intelligent as the next, deserve equality, I know my rights, I kneel to no man, serve nobody, except for myself! 

Iskcon tried to break me down, they tried very hard to crush my inner peace by asserting dominance over my way of thinking and replace it with propaganda that goes against empowering, respecting and protecting women. But I escaped, I am free of fanatical association that has no positive benefits to my spiritual progress and upliftment. 

Through the love, compassion and care of Buddhist and Christian practitioners, I have learnt to love myself again, the importance of life, the beauty of the world and forever grateful to them for saving my soul! I hold nothing against those who are real Krishna bhaktas, these are persons who respect all faith equally and do not place their own beliefs above others, they are ones who respect everyone as the servant of the same Lord and sees all as brothers and sisters without distinction. But to those who feel differently, please do not friend me, I am not interested in debating or reading and hearing fanatical propaganda, your words are hurtful and offensive to others.

I pray the fanatics find compassion in their hearts, have their eyes opened before it is too late as everyone no matter their secular creed are also the Lord’s servitors, all are loved and special equally in the Lord's eyes, He is unbiased and loves unconditionally. I pray they wake up before they have to face judgement after this life. They would have wasted so much energy and time spreading hate and offences towards others that in the process they were but cutting down their own spiritual progress. They offend openly, thinking and believing they are above every other faith, but in fact they are blind to see that all faith are but equal, we should not be angry with their oppressive stance towards us either, they do not understand how hurtful their words come across. We should all pray for them. The Lord does not favour any person, any movement, society, religious or spiritual ritual and practice, He is unbiased, He loves us all unconditionally and as such we too should open our arms to all, welcome all, no matter how much they try to hurt us. 

I spent more than half my life, close to thirty years in their movement, there were some good memories, but most were painful, abusive and oppressive. I even tried to take my life in the end due to how unhappy I was, the original philosophy is sound, but there were just far too many oppressive beliefs about women and racist statements in purports, far too much negativity towards gender equality and sexuality, all these and much more to this very day I cannot accept, these are not morals I live and stand by. That together with constantly being told to tolerate, be humble, think of oneself of lower than a blade of grass, mixed with the rampant abuse and molestation kept quiet, thinking that I had to stay no matter what or my soul will return and suffer a worse fate, so had no choice but to stay, all these factors and much more kept me locked in a prison of fear. 

It took much courage to finally free myself, I had nothing more to loose, I already gave up hope on ever finding happiness, I didn’t care whether I lived or died, all I knew was that I had to leave. Every devotee I contacted, rejected my pleas of help, turned their backs and ignored me, I lived homeless with nothing to eat, no money, nowhere to go, living in a foreign country and the very people I saw as my spiritual family turning their backs on me, what was left to live for…but then to my rescue came wonderful non devotees, they literally saved my life!

I have had quite a journey, but I made it out, I escaped and finally free!

Free at last, I'm free at last!

Life outside the CULT - putting the Hare Krishnas behind me!

I have not posted anything in a while due to my University commitments. However, I just completed my final exams and hoping to graduate soon. So, I've once again picked up my pencils and began doing what I love, Art!

It has been an incredible journey to date. I got involved with a 'spiritual institution', or thought they were, was married quickly to a man I barely knew and regretted it ever since. But I found my freedom, at the cost of everything, literally everything.... I decided my life was mine to live, for nobody to dictate, to end the constant abuse endured by my husband who pretended to be a saintly priest, I walked out with the determination to either find my freedom or die trying.

The so called 'spiritual institution' known as ISKCON is nothing more than a cult in my opinion. I lived the lifestyle for over 25 years, lived in temples, studied the books, performed altar services and cook. I was a very strict practicing member of the society for many years, but I always felt I was trying to silence the little voice in the back of my mind that was doubtful. This is what members would call "Maya" or to you and I that is "Illusion". Everything that went against their beliefs would e considered "Maya" and or "demoniac". It is believed that if you listen to this voice, you place yourself at risk of losing your faith in God and His true path, the one and only way to gain the Lord's favour and love, the only way to liberation and freedom from rebirth, which they believe is ISKCON.

I ignored this little voice, I would chant the repeated words of the "Holy Maha Mantra" louder and louder and more and more to drown that little voice out so much so that I actually believed it was gone for good. The "Maha Mantra" were a mere three words in constant repetition for a minimum of 2 hours a day. Hare, Krishna and Rama. These words are believed to be the names of God and His energy. In total the mantra was as follows:

Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna
Krishna Krishna
Hare Hare
Hare Rama, Hare Rama
Rama Rama
Hare Hare

"Hare" is also believed to be the Lords energy or personality called Radharani. She is supposedly the embodiment of Krishna's love. Krishna a black cowherd boy that was mischievous and known to have loving intimate relations with the female cowherd girls. Rama is well known Hindu figure and from the epic Ramayana. To gain Krishna, devotees believe they must first receive the mercy from Radharani, that nobody can approach God directly, only through God's representatives.

Devotees also believe that there is only ever one gender, that only God Himself is the true male, all other are females. Although today they may deny this and many things, they constantly changing the society to try and fit in with the rest of civilisation! There was a time when they all believed that all women were actually all incarnations of Radharani, but that perspective quickly changed due to the rampant domestic violence, abuse and rape in the society. Many will deny that this was going on while their leader Srila Prabhupada was still living. I however, can testify that he did in fact know all about the abuse of women and children. He knew, but wanted it kept quiet, it was a problem in the early days and has only escalated over years.

When you first get introduced to the society, these are topics that they will avoid. I was one of them once upon a time, preaching and bringing in new people was first priority all the time. Never uttering a bad word about the society was something we all had to abide by, in fear of that we may be excommunicated or fear of losing our faith and thus lose our one and only chance to go back to God. Many times the people I introduced would return to me years later, after finding out the truth about ISKCON and ask me why I wasn't truthful about everything from the very beginning! The real ISKCON is not a pretty picture and I feared that if I spoke of these things, I would be committing an offence and loose faith myself and as a result never gain God's love.

Does it sound like a cult to you yet?

ISKCON had lawyers on standby all the time, they spend millions on court cases to keep victims quiet. The management quickly ban devotees from temples if they speak out, congregation and members are told to stay away from excommunicated devotees because they are "fallen" and "demoniac". Members do not see it, but the institution has them under control with fear. They claim to be simple and happy, but what truly lurks beneath is a brainwashing cult. They will openly and happily say they are brainwashed, that their filthy minds have been washed clean by the true word of God, that they now know their true purpose in life.

It has been five years to date since I left my abusive husband and ISKCON. I struggled to get back on my feet, but I'm much healthier and happier for taking those steps today. The hardest part was gaining my mental freedom. I'm starting to take my life back, enjoying life once again, enjoying the things I loved before....it almost feels like I've been asleep for over two and a half decades and now learning everything from scratch.

Baby steps, I gain strength with each day. This blog is like therapy, it helps me reflect and move forward. I hope that those reading it will find some benefit or insight in my words. It has been an incredible journey, hopefully I can compile my experiences into a book.

Thank you for reading.

THE TRUTH HURTS

It has been five years since I last set foot in an ISKCON temple. To be honest my life today is completely different to how it was when I was a Hare Krishna member. In fact, remembering back feels more like a bad dream than reality. I am now in my 40's and starting over. To think I gave the institution more than half my life and how they treated me over the years is a painful recollection. 

Writing about my experiences was initially for my own release, for my personal healing, but over the years many have read my posts and those who are not affiliated with the ISKCON movement have been the most supportive and helpful. However, the abuse of devote ISKCON members persists, in fact now more than ever, for some reason they feel having an ex-member write about their personal experiences to the wider public is bad press for their image. That may be the case, but I am not writing to promote or demote any organisation, I am writing to exercise my write of freedom and speech. I am a proud independent woman, who fought for freedom and escaped a cult. 

Many times, I considered compiling a book about my past, but I haven't the funding or such a task, not yet at least. I know there will be great opposition from the ISKCON society but that is the least of my concern, they can continue to bully and manipulate me into silence, but that will only push me further to make a more profound statement revealing the truth to all.

It has been so many years since leaving, yet I cannot help feel as if my life has been stolen. So many years taken from me, I was used, raped, abused and brainwashed into thinking the world outside of ISKCON confines were evil, that all non-members were demons, that all women were less intelligent, were nothing more than sexual objects, that they were the root cause of all unhappiness, they were responsible for divorce, that women have no rights, deserved to be beaten into submission and enjoyed rape. Even though I disagreed with these statements, these are their teachings by the founder himself and nobody would ever dare question these statements or it was considered blasphemous. 

I have missed out on a normal teenage and adult life, starting over is a little daunting, but also exciting. The institution was wrong on so many levels, I cannot begin to explain how wonderful and liberating it feels to be an equal, to be treated with respect and kindness. I learnt my rights and how loving and compassionate non-members are in comparison. 

Devotees never cared about my well-being, when my health started failing and I had no money, they couldn't care less of my existence. 

I have finally found real friends, people I can be myself with, not wearing a mask, I can be honest and reveal my mind in confidence. I know I have true genuine friendships now, in ISKCON there are no real friendships. Those who I believed in and treated as my very own family all refused to help me when I was struggling. 

I read more and more cases mirroring my own, on one hand it is painful to read their experience, some were born in this movement and left due to the oppressive teachings and rampant abuse and neglect, but on another hand, it is most inspiring to read about their new-found freedom, how much they have achieved since leaving. 

Truth over tolerance. 

This life is yours and yours alone, do not allow others to dictate how you should live!

Stay strong and fight for freedom!

QUALITIES OF A REAL DEVOTEE

Prabhupada once said that devotees are like bomber pilots. During the war the Air Force would be careful not to loose its bomber pilots. The country had put so much energy into training each one of those pilots that to loose one was a great loss-they were practically irreplaceable.

ISKCON trained devotees are  supposed to be like bomber pilots: so much experience in devotional service, so many skills, so much devotion cultivated.

ISKCON should really be concerned for the welfare of their devotees: if someone is having difficulty, how to hold on to him/her, and if someone has left, how to bring him/her back.

When devotees have left their services, they should not discourage them by treating them like outcasts. No matter their offenses or mistakes, Krsna can forgive them. Therefore, devotees too should be forgiving and helpful. There is a difference between forgiveness and hiding/protecting a perpetrator. Devotees need to understand the difference, if someone is being hurt, the persons responsible need to be reported to legal authorities and the victims need to be protected. Forgiveness does not refer to protecting persons who are causing others unnecessary suffering. Devotees should be forgiving, they should also protect those who are in need and not push them aside. Otherwise, if a person thinks he/she must keep away, his/her chanting and fellowship with devotees may stop.

A genuine spiritual movement should forgive and encourage, but should also report abuse and any illegal activity so to protect the innocent. Sometimes devotees, because of their own mistakes or events beyond their control, may leave the association of the other devotees and the ISKCON temples. If devotees who have left are treated at this crucial time as "outcasts" or "fringies" and not treated with kindness, they may become bitter or disgruntled and lose faith. One devotee complained that after having made a mistake, no devotees visited nor has he/she received any correspondence from them. As a result grew disillusioned and said, "I want to see good, moral and happy examples of people in daily life, with their friends, families, and disciples. Not just so-called good classes from high seats."

Srila Prabhupada told his disciples that they would not become contaminated by extending themselves to nondevotees. So shouldn't they extend themselves even more to followers of Krsna consciousness who have temporarily strayed away. As they offer Krsna consciousness to newcomers by giving them Srila Prabhupada's books and inviting them to Hare Krsna temples, restaurants, and festivals, how much more shouldn't they befriend those who have already served Krsna but been labelled as "fallen".

This may be the best way to fulfill one of Srila Prabhupada's last requests: "Your love for me will be shown by how you cooperate among yourselves."

ISKCON is not the only movement that practices spiritual life, devotees that left the movement may not necessarily be fallen either, how do they know, who are they to judge?

I myself am such an outcast and personally know of many practicing devotees outside of ISKCON.....some got burnt in the movement but a few continued to practice on their own outside the movement on their own terms without fear of judgement and belittlement. They are respectful and even though ISKCON has mistreated these individuals, many have forgiven and still show kindness to ISKCON devotees, they have such devotion and love for the Lord, it is actually a breath of fresh air being around them.

It is unfortunate what many of us 'outcasts' have been through, I myself have been told to my face and in writing to leave the movement as a result of trying to make a difference. For many years I have been silenced and called abominable names for trying to speak out. My husband is protected by devotees and gurus despite the atrocities he performs and the hardship I had to endure, nobody came to my physical aid when I was in dire need. I was literally homeless with no possessions and no money and yet almost everyone I approached in ISKCON during that time turned their backs when I pleaded for help. A lady I trusted as my very own sister, a mother of two, thinking that she would be my saving grace and receive me with open arms with empathy, love and compassion also ignored my pleas. Likewise, I received the same rejection from a number of other ladies within the movement, some of whom are Srila Prabhupada disciples and some were patrons, all of which were considered senior devotees all ignored my pleas for help.

There I was, on the street, nowhere to go, living in a foreign country with no family within reach, no money, no food and believing that ISKCON was my spiritual family, surely devotees would come to my aid, or so I thought, however my pleas fell on deaf ears.

What type of devotees are these? We refer to ladies in the movement as 'Matajis' or mothers. Mothers? They are not worthy of such a title, mother means caring, loving, compassionate and merciful! My mother would never turn her back on me, would yours? For devotees, think about Mother Yasoda (Lord Krishna's Mother), She is a prime example of a true mother and I doubt She would have turned Her back on a lady in need.

Likewise what type of men are in the Hare Krsna movement, also unworthy of the high praise and title of 'Prabhu' which means master. Master? Men are suppose to be protectors and brave, if they see anyone in trouble, especially women, they should immediately stand up for her, protect her without a second thought! That is a real man, someone who doesn't act as a coward in the face of danger and protects those who are in need and doesn't wait around to be asked first!

Brothers and sisters are meant to stand by your side and pick you up when you are down, give you comfort and be a friend. I must mention here that there were a handful of sincere devotees who showed kindness. Literally a handful I could count on a hand, they offered their prayers, however, even though I am grateful for their prayers, what I desperately needed was legal help, money and accommodation but sadly, that was not on offer. I cannot fault the friendship they offered, which was literally a lifesaver at the time, I was struggling so much, their kind words and prayers literally kept me from taking drastic measures to ending the constant turmoil I was experiencing. A devotee helped by writing a brief letter to University, outlining the facts of my marital status, but informed me that he cannot offer me any legal advice and does not get involved with devotees' personal affairs. Disappointing? Yes absolutely, but maybe there were legalities that I am not aware of which limited his involvement, or how much he was able to offer. I do know that if I was in that position, I would have done everything that was within my power and capabilities to help a struggling woman in clear desperate need of help, money should not be an issue, as a fellow member of an organisation they are supposed see one another as brothers and sisters, what use are professional qualifications if not to be used for helping those in need! But I am very grateful for the drafted letter nonetheless, even though I had it sworn and stamped by separate, independent solicitors, it still provided the University with the evidence they required.

Just like myself, there are many hundreds of thousands of others in the movement facing incredible difficulties, women, children and the elderly are especially vulnerable. Abuse comes in many forms, all of which leaves permanent mental scars, to be told 'you are not this body' or 'it is your karma', only makes it worse for those suffering. The worst is that abuse and molestation is common knowledge within the Hare Krsna movement, but devotees choose to turn a blind eye. Out of sight, out of mind!

My real saviours were non devotees, they came to my physical aid, as soon as I reached out to persons the devotees term 'karmis' (a derogative term to describe non devotees) or whom I prefer to address as genuine realists, once they heard the details of my circumstances, they took immediate action. They were making arrangements within minutes of hearing my plight for accommodation, medical assistance, funds, legal assistance, all basic necessities, counselling and, once I regained my strength, employment. I required medical attention as I was  suffering with a condition called facet joint syndrome, a condition where the cartilage between my spinal bones had worn away and were causing excruciating pain as a result of the vertebrae rubbing together. Where devotees have failed me, the realists saved my physical life and mental state! I will write a more detailed post on my personal struggles within the Hare Krsna movement in another post.

I believe that devotees should not judge others...

They do not know the spiritual platform others are on...

To me the title 'devotee' is of high distinction. Those who strictly practice a certain monastic lifestyle to strengthen and obtain saintly qualities and places the needs of others before their own, to uphold religious principles at all costs, to protect the innocent and to be compassionate. A devotee doesn't shy away when faced with injustice, they should act like lions in the face of danger, protect the weak at all costs.

Anybody can put on a dress but how many have true devotion, love or even practice what they preach?

What is more important...appearances or what’s in the heart?

It is time that devotees climb down from their high pedestals they have created and stop pointing the finger at others but take a good look at themselves!

Yes there are some who are genuinely compassionate and show true qualities befitting an aspiring devotee of the Lord, but that is but a mere handful, a change is needed, it is time to weed out the wolves so that the real devotees can reclaim their society! It may be too late for some like myself, but that will not stop me from fighting the good fight to see justice prevail. Only once there is true transparency and openness, only then can there be room for change, but for that to materialise, devotees need to stand together, come forward and speak out. I may no longer be a part of the movement but I will continue my battle in exposing the wolves posing in sheep's clothing, even if I only help one person or even help inspire one person to come forth and speak their mind, then my efforts have not been in vain. To stand alone, my mission is difficult and the path filled with obstacles, but if we stand together, we are indestructible and have the power to make a difference. We do not need to be practising devotees or part of the movement to make a difference, just knowing that our intervention will be helping save many others from unnecessary suffering is all the inspiration required. So lets stand together and make our voices heard, it is never too late to make a difference!

written by an Ex-Hare Krishna devotee

HUMILITY

In ISKCON there is an idea that true humility means you have to conjure up a kinder, gentler version of yourself so you can all just get along. It's a humility that says you have to straddle the fence, not offend anyone, and "make nice" with everyone. What a phony-baloney load of crap that is!

As I was raised a christian before I was introduced to ISKCON, I studied the Bible and so will refer to the Holy doctrine for reference:

Am I to believe that John the Baptist was not humble because he confronted the Pharisees and called them a bunch of snakes? Did Paul lack humility because he appeared to be unkind when he sharply confronted the Judaizers in Galatia and hinted they should all do themselves bodily harm? And in the Old Testament the Prophets of God probably never understood the concept. Where was Elijah's humility when he confronted Ahab and Jezebel, and slew the false prophets of Baal? Surely Elijah wasn't putting forth his best efforts to get along.

Webster's Dictionary is always an interesting place to start when you want to know what something means.

"Humility n. the state or quality of being humble"

See what I mean? Short and to the point, just like I said.

"Humble adj. 

1. Having or showing awareness of one's defects; not proud; not self-assertive 

2. Low in condition or rank; lowly"

 Now I have a problem. Webster's Dictionary gives me definitions that don't seem to jive with the Biblical information I have. Should I assume that men in scripture who followed the Lord and served Him faithfully were used even though they seemed to lack this quality? I mean, here we have men questioning other men's motives, resisting authority, being sarcastic and unkind, and even killing people!

Do we have a contradiction? Yes, we do! Where does it come from? I think from the fact that God did not write Webster's Dictionary. Is the definition wrong? No, not technically. At least, not if you're trying to define it from the context of morality or worldly reason.

Let me try to explain what I mean. The definitions above describe a quality that can easily be misunderstood. In the world, apply a little wrong thinking and humility becomes weakness, compromise, accommodation, or peace at any cost, something to be avoided, if you plan to get ahead in the world. The world-view is that humility is a sign of weakness. I suspect it's just the opposite. That's usually the case when you're dealing with the world's opinions.

In religious circles, especially in ISKCON, humility is something the so called pious try to wear on their shirtsleeves where everyone can see it. They walk around saying things like, "I just want to love everyone", "I just want to serve", or "Let's not be critical, we're all brothers and sisters in the Lord". They always have a kind word to say (well at least to your face). They'd be “mortified” if they were ever accused of offending anyone..  They also have a false sense of humility.

Let’s take a look at Jesus’ lifestyle. The definitive passage on humility has to be Philippians 2. The full passage runs from verse 1, all the way to verse 16. In the midst of Paul's presentation, he offers Jesus as the supreme example. We'll cut to the chase. This is verse 8:

"And after He had come to earth in human form (as if that weren't enough), He humbled Himself in an even greater way, by carrying His obedience to the Father to the fullest extreme - through His willingness to die on the cross"

What is Paul saying? And what are we missing? Let's revisit Webster's definition. Is humility the simple understanding that we're not everything God wants us to be? Sure I have defects. Who doesn't? I even know what a few of them are. But does that make me humble? O K, so I won't be self-assertive. Does that make me humble? Some would say it only proves I'm lazy. Can I cultivate the attitude that everyone else is better than I am, or more important? Then will I be humble? I don't think so. If I try to blend into the landscape, not give anyone a problem, not offend any brothers or sisters (even though with most I doubt they are brothers or sisters), and not hand out any grief, then will I be humble? If I quit using sarcasm, will I be humble? I don’t think so.

You know what? Jesus proved His humility by the death He was willing to die. John the Baptist died because of his humility. Paul eventually died because of his humility. Scores of great men not only from the Bible but other Religious scriptures, and countless others we've never heard about, have died because of their humility. Elijah was spared physical death, but not because he lacked humility. In the case of Elijah, you just have to accept the sovereignty of God. God does what He wants to do. Nothing is for sure. But, in this world, there's a good chance this is true - Christ-like humility will get you in trouble, not keep you out of it.

So, what is it? How can we define humility? It is simply the willingness to be obedient to the will of the Supreme Lord, regardless of personal cost. And understand this, your humility will never depend on what devotees think of you, or what they say about you. That is irrelevant. Your humility will always be founded on what the Lord thinks of you. Period!

Humility has nothing to do with devotees opinions. And it’s not based on their selfish sentiments. That's why Webster's definition is wrong.

Does the Blessed Lord put a requirement on us that says if you're going to be humble, you can never offend?

John the Baptist lost his head, spoke the truth, offended many, and lost his head (no, that's not a typo, you read it right). When the Pharisees heard about it, they probably had a drink to celebrate, because poor John had offended most of them too!

But, in reality he was only standing for what was right. That's what God called him to do.

His obedience cost him everything, except early entrance into the presence of God (not a bad deal, when you think about it). When Paul met the Lord on the road to Damascus, he said, "Lord, what do You want me to do?" This began Paul's life of humility, suffering and personal deprivation. Did he make enemies? Did he offend? Did he see the need to confront? Yes, to all that and more. But, was he humble? Of course he was. It was his humility that caused all those things to happen!

Jesus is an example of true humility. He was direct, confronting, divisive, sarcastic, evasive, critical, assertive, uncompromising, and bold. He was also soft, loving, compassionate, merciful, and unassuming. He could be patient, then, seemingly impatient. At times relaxed, other times agitated. Sometimes marvelled at the good qualities he saw in in others and sometimes disappointed. He could accept people who were unacceptable, or go into an angry rage. From the world's point of view, He could be very un-humble. But aside from all that, he was totally focused on the Will of the Lord, fiercely loyal to the Him, and obedient. And that was His humility!

Oh, that I could be that humble! Humility takes real courage. As I've already mentioned, it requires loyalty, perseverance, and obedience to God.

Humility is not for wimps. The namby-pamby need not apply. Compromise is not a characteristic of the truly humble. If you castrate yourself straddling the fence, I doubt God will ever commend you for your humility, it would be a contrary to His Truth.

Those who fear the opinions of devotees, instead of the opinion of God will never even come close to it.

In fact, those who exhibit true humility towards God will always run afoul of devotees' opinions. God will see to it. God has convinced me that He, in fact, uses true humility in His servants to upset and confound the world and bring glory to Himself. After all, the world is opposed to God. And when you put all devotees' pretence and deception aside, true humility becomes the dividing line that separates the true servants of God.

Now, there will be those who think I've presented a somewhat unbalanced view of humility. And if you think that, you may very well be right (see, I’m trying to show my softer side). But I wanted to emphasize the point that humility, in fact, has two sides. And both are valid. Mr. Webster is, at least, partially correct. Humility can be defined as non-assertive, not proud, and low in condition or rank. But humility can also be seen in acts of confrontation, defiance or even violence. What's the difference? It's simply this. We can easily see these qualities in Jesus. There is no real contradiction. He came to do the will of the Lord, had no agenda or ambitions of His own. On a personal level, He was gentle, unassuming and compassionate. But, when He was engaged in carrying out the instructions of the Lord, He could be as bold, unyielding and fierce as He needed to be. Either way, His humility remained intact.

Do you see the difference? I'll make the application.

Humility doesn't come easy. You'll never be truly humble if you think you are. You'll never be humble because devotees say you are. I don't know how long it takes to become humble. And I don't know what God will require of us as He forms this humility in us.

The following instructions of Jesus found in Mark 8:34. Here's a paraphrase:

"Then Jesus turned to the crowd that had been following Him and said, If you intend to go the same way I'm going (the way to the Father), you'll have let go of your own self-interests every day and submit your life completely to God. You'll have to take up your cross every day as well, so you can die to self - your flesh has to go. And you'll have to follow Me continually. I'll have to show you the way, you'll never find it on your own."

True humility comes when you're dead to self and alive to God. It manifests when your own selfish interests are gone, and you're focused only on the purposes of the Lord. Humility will probably take us places we don't want to go, to do things we don't want to do. But, we'll go. If we know in our heart and in our spirit that God has raised us up, trained us and hardened us, not for our purposes, but for His.

And most importantly that true devotees of the Lord don't abuse others because they want to or because they can (I think this should be the first principle of the Hare Krsna movement!).

The very idea will be repugnant. And, then they will be obedient to a Holy God, regardless of the cost.

Some or most devotees in ISKCON are determined to do what they want to do with their lives, with their money, with their relationships, with everything that constitutes their existence. They give lip service to God, show some interest in the things of God, and fit Him in wherever it's convenient. But, they betray themselves continually by their lukewarm lives. They have no intention of ever understanding the meaning of life, placing the Lord in the centre of their lives, or follow the instructions of the Lord etc... They want to believe that it's OK. I'm reminded of the verse in Revelation 20:12 that tells us that the day will come when the books are opened and we'll be judged according to what has been recorded in the books. When my name comes up, I hope it says something about my willingness to be obedient.

In ISKCON the word Humble is thrown about loosely to try and keep members quiet and tolerant. The true definition of being humble should not be used as a means of control, rather it is a quality that one should aspire for, to be brave and walk the path of righteousness. Devotees are not humble in my opinion, they place themselves on pedastals high and mighty that they have created for themselves and demand respect by mind control, belittlement and word trickery. I say this as as soon as you have an opinion that is contrary to theirs, immediately they are offended and blast you with insults rather than considering the fact that just maybe you could have a point. This is especially true if you are a lady, the exact same message could be made by a man or better still a guru and suddenly everyone is on board (tried and tested in random social experiments). Humble individuals do not abuse and manipulate their followers for their personal gain, I hope this blog will inspire many who find themselves in similar positions to step forward and speak out. It is time the real ISKCON is revealed for all the world to see, to stand alone is difficult, join me in exposing the true ISKCON and together we can make an impact and simultaneously be saving many innocent people from incredible suffering that is rampant within the Hare Krishna Society.

written by an Ex-Hare Krishna devotee