I am free at last! Free at last!
A new start, new friends, new opportunities and adventures await..
No more spiritual or religious ramblings or dictatorship over how I should live my life, all that is behind me!
Cannot believe it has taken this long to come to my senses!
It's been a struggle, it still is, but I'm finally free, broke those shackles of abuse and finally moved on with my life...
No ‘spiritual’ institution or man will ever have such control over me ever again..
I am ashamed of how I treated myself, brainwashed to believe I was less important, but you will not understand unless you were in my position. I was weak and looking for spirituality, thinking I had found a true and honest Spiritual Society, I dedicated my life to the movement, but did not expect my vulnerability to be taken advantage of. I was brainwashed into thinking women are of lesser importance, that they were the downfall of men, that women had no equality, that women were less intelligent, should be submissive to men and so thinking this way I was under their mind control and abusive hands.
But no more, I have reclaimed my independence, celebrate my identity as a beautiful and powerful woman, deserving of kindness, love and respect. I can achieve anything and just as intelligent as the next, deserve equality, I know my rights, I kneel to no man, serve nobody, except for myself!
Iskcon tried to break me down, they tried very hard to crush my inner peace by asserting dominance over my way of thinking and replace it with propaganda that goes against empowering, respecting and protecting women. But I escaped, I am free of fanatical association that has no positive benefits to my spiritual progress and upliftment.
Through the love, compassion and care of Buddhist and Christian practitioners, I have learnt to love myself again, the importance of life, the beauty of the world and forever grateful to them for saving my soul! I hold nothing against those who are real Krishna bhaktas, these are persons who respect all faith equally and do not place their own beliefs above others, they are ones who respect everyone as the servant of the same Lord and sees all as brothers and sisters without distinction. But to those who feel differently, please do not friend me, I am not interested in debating or reading and hearing fanatical propaganda, your words are hurtful and offensive to others.
I pray the fanatics find compassion in their hearts, have their eyes opened before it is too late as everyone no matter their secular creed are also the Lord’s servitors, all are loved and special equally in the Lord's eyes, He is unbiased and loves unconditionally. I pray they wake up before they have to face judgement after this life. They would have wasted so much energy and time spreading hate and offences towards others that in the process they were but cutting down their own spiritual progress. They offend openly, thinking and believing they are above every other faith, but in fact they are blind to see that all faith are but equal, we should not be angry with their oppressive stance towards us either, they do not understand how hurtful their words come across. We should all pray for them. The Lord does not favour any person, any movement, society, religious or spiritual ritual and practice, He is unbiased, He loves us all unconditionally and as such we too should open our arms to all, welcome all, no matter how much they try to hurt us.
I spent more than half my life, close to thirty years in their movement, there were some good memories, but most were painful, abusive and oppressive. I even tried to take my life in the end due to how unhappy I was, the original philosophy is sound, but there were just far too many oppressive beliefs about women and racist statements in purports, far too much negativity towards gender equality and sexuality, all these and much more to this very day I cannot accept, these are not morals I live and stand by. That together with constantly being told to tolerate, be humble, think of oneself of lower than a blade of grass, mixed with the rampant abuse and molestation kept quiet, thinking that I had to stay no matter what or my soul will return and suffer a worse fate, so had no choice but to stay, all these factors and much more kept me locked in a prison of fear.
It took much courage to finally free myself, I had nothing more to loose, I already gave up hope on ever finding happiness, I didn’t care whether I lived or died, all I knew was that I had to leave. Every devotee I contacted, rejected my pleas of help, turned their backs and ignored me, I lived homeless with nothing to eat, no money, nowhere to go, living in a foreign country and the very people I saw as my spiritual family turning their backs on me, what was left to live for…but then to my rescue came wonderful non devotees, they literally saved my life!
I have had quite a journey, but I made it out, I escaped and finally free!
Free at last, I'm free at last!
